Self and Loathing Afterwork in London

He noticed her when she came in because she’d looked quite good from behind. Later he noticed her because she was sat straight in front of him.

Nursing a glass of win and Iphone she’d unsuccessfully been trying to occupy herself. Now and then she lifted her drink to her lips to sip nothing from her glass that remained full. An unobservant observer may even have mistook her for someone that hadn’t been waiting nearly an hour for their date.

Every now and then she seemed to receive calls, but the suspicious among them doubted if they were calls at all. Why isn’t their an IPhone app for that. One can throw imaginary paper into a basket but one can’t find someone to talk to when they are waiting alone with cheap white wine. Maybe there is an Iphone application, maybe that’s who she was talking to.

Next to Sebastian sat a collection of people in their twenties, they were having a conversation that at least 11,000 people in their twenties were having at exactly the same time.

Sebastion went outside and looked at the people walking past. His colleague was a non smoker which was lucky because conversation had been a struggle and the smoking area represented respite . It wasn’t his colleagues’ fault; he’d lost the will to live quite a long time ago. He certainly made better company than those other souls he worked with who hadn’t lost will to live but had no obvious reason to go on living

Outside things started badly and Sebastian learnt about the housing market

“If John can afford to get on the ladder in Stoke Newington then surely Jo can”

Sebastion decided to move to the corner of the smoking area.

“We never get hungover because we are always drunk”

Sebastion left the smoking area and sat next to his colleague. He sat in silence for five seconds before explaining that his non-existent girlfriend was waiting for him. One of the many good reasons for not knowing your colleagues very well is that it allows a far larger array of excuses than would otherwise be possible. Upon leaving, Sebastian went to the supermarket where he stole a pen so he could write everything down on the bus.

Someone who was reading the story over Sebastion’s shoulder commented that the ending was shit, so sebastian went straight to pornotube when he got home tin order to end with a bang.


About Paul David Beaumont

Occasional journalist, part-time socialist & full time International Relations PhD student. Available for hire - but never in the morning. Academia page:
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