Waging a War on CVs (and Losing)

So a few months back, when I was unemployed and looking for work around Oslo, I thought I’d try what I thought was a clever and novel approach to job hunting.  Abandoning the half lies, deception and the general bullshit that stank up my regular CV (“hardworking, innovative and passionate”? ought really to read “lazy, clumsy and absolutely never on time”) I thought I’d write a very different, more honest CV.  Anyway, it didn’t work, nobody offered me a job, but as I have just discovered my novel and I realise now very stupid CV did turn up Facebook:

It didn't get me a job but did get 32 Facebook "likes". Great because Facebook likes can pay the rent.

The small print
I should probably mention that the fellow who posted charitably emailed me privately and offer to help me find a job – possibly starting with how to write a CV- but it got lost in my junk mail and by the time I found it I had already fooled someone else into employing me (not with that CV).


About Paul David Beaumont

Occasional journalist, part-time socialist & full time International Relations PhD student. Available for hire - but never in the morning. Academia page: https://umb.academia.edu/PaulBeaumont
This entry was posted in Notes on Norway, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Waging a War on CVs (and Losing)

  1. ikkenorsk says:

    i applaud your subversive efforts and gusto– much better than mastering corporate double-speak. in a further movement to revamp the application process, i propose HR department employees be schooled in literary analysis of satire and farce. this will hopefully help them detect and discard bullshit, therefore eliminating our need to submit it.

  2. Sara James says:

    This is hilarious. I love it. I would have give you the job

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